Have you ever kept a diary? And have you tried going back to it a few years later? You might be surprised at how much your memories differ from what you recorded back then, when the events were still fresh in your mind. You downplayed some things, exaggerated others, and forgot some entirely. What’s more, you’ve likely filled in these “gaps” in your memory with what seemed plausible or meaningful to you. Our memory tells us a story about ourselves: about who we are and what we’ve been through. And so we view our past through the lens of today and tie up loose ends into neat little bundles of consistency. We want to remember only the good things about our loved ones and forget what would conflict with our current feelings, desires, and needs.
At the same time, we vividly recall even the smallest details of our lives during moments when something shocking, emotional, or significant occurred. What feelings did you have as you left your high school graduation? Who told you that Princess Diana had died? And where were you watching the tragic collapse of the World Trade Center towers?
Ultimately, however, it’s also possible that you might dredge up something from your memory that never actually happened. Suggestive questions, pressure, or the repetition of misleading information can cause clearer images to begin emerging from the opaque fog of your memory. If you’ve heard a thousand times how you got lost on a childhood trip and your uncle eventually found you in the company of complete strangers, or how the ice broke beneath you on a frozen lake and you were carried home suffering from hypothermia, you may feel as though you actually remember falling into the icy water or making your way home on your own, even if it was actually your sibling or a completely made-up story. Your uncle might not want to admit to your parents that it was actually him who got a little carried away and entrusted you to the care of the people in the neighboring cabin—and voilà, a false memory is born. Other times, something goes wrong—the car breaks down in the middle of the road due to an unknown malfunction, or human error sets in—and you’re left with the impression that even as you were getting in, you had a hunch that something was going to happen. “I knew from the start that it would end this way,” say disappointed fans as they look at the outcome of a sports game, or desperate lovers whose ex is packing their bags. But try asking them at the beginning.
So should we reevaluate our trust in our memories and accept that what they show us isn’t what actually happened? But if we can’t trust our past, what do we actually know about ourselves? Wouldn’t doubt eventually consume our entire existence? But that would be taking things too far. After all, no one can really prove to you that you don’t actually remember that trip or the chill of icy water—perhaps from another period in your life. And perhaps it will reassure you to know that even forgetting apparently has its purpose. Imagine how overwhelmed and constantly occupied our minds would be if we remembered even the smallest details of every day. Forgetting is merciful. A flood of memories—especially the unpleasant ones—accompanying our every step could weigh us down like a millstone and make it harder to move forward. However, it’s worth acknowledging that our memories capture the past just as inaccurately as the photographs we stylize, embellish, and arrange in albums to document the past.
Sources:
- Barnier, A.J., Hung, L., & Conway, M.A. (2004). Retrieval-induced forgetting of emotional and unemotional autobiographical memories. Cognition and Emotion, 18 (4), 457–477.
- Fischhoff, B. & Beyth, R. (1975). “I knew it would happen”—Remembered probabilities of once-future things. Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 13, 1–16.
- Halford, W.K., Keefer, E., & Osgarby, S.M. (2002). “How Has the Week Been for You Two?” Relationship Satisfaction and Hindsight Memory Biases in Couples’ Reports of Relationship Events. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 26 (6), 759–773.
- Kizilöz, B.K. & Tekcan, A.I. (2013). Canonical categories in flashbulb memories. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 27(3), 352–359.
- Loftus, E.F., Coan, J.A., & Pickrell, J.E. (2014). Manufacturing false memories using bits of reality. In L. M. Reder, Implicit Memory and Metacognition (pp. 195–220). New York: Psychology Press.
- Loftus, E.F. & Pickrell, J.E. (1995). The formation of false memories. Psychiatric Annals, 25, 720–725.
- Plháková, A. (2004). Textbook of General Psychology. Prague: Academia.
