Emotional bonding, attachment, or the English term “attachment” refer to the mutual emotional relationship that gradually develops between a child and the person closest to them. A baby’s experiences during the first year of life can significantly influence their basic sense of trust and, later on, their ability to form harmonious relationships. In the first part of this article, you learned how wanted and unwanted children differ in adulthood; what contributes to the formation of a secure attachment; and why feeding is more than just the provision of nutrients. The second part of the article describes the four stages of attachment formation according to the child’s age and the most common types of parents who struggle with sensitive care. Attachment and its impact on adult relationships are currently the focus of numerous research studies both abroad and in the Czech Republic.
4 Stages of Emotional Bonding
As early as 1964, Rudolf Schaffer and Peggy Emerson studied the development of emotional bonds in a group of Scottish children from birth to 18 months. A child was considered attached to a person if separation from that person typically elicited a protest. They identified four stages of attachment formation:
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The asocial phase (0–6 weeks). Almost all stimuli elicit a positive response. Toward the end of this period, infants begin to respond positively to social stimuli, such as a smiling face.
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Non-specific attachment phase (6 weeks – 6 to 7 months). Infants enjoy human company but do not show preference. They smile more at people than at other objects (e.g., talking puppets) and protest if an adult puts them down on the floor. Although they reserve their biggest smiles for their loved ones, they enjoy the attention they receive from anyone.
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The specific attachment phase (approximately 7–9 months). Between the seventh and ninth months, children begin to protest only when separated from one specific person, usually their mother. They try to stay close to her and greet her when she returns. They are wary in the presence of strangers. Forming this first secure attachment allows the toddler to begin exploring their surroundings. Paradoxically, children need the assurance that they can rely on their parents in order to behave independently. If hospitalization of the child is necessary during this period, it should always be together with the mother (Vymětal, 1994).
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The multiple-attachment phase. In this phase, children form attachments to other people, such as fathers, siblings, grandparents, and other caregivers, usually in the weeks following the formation of the first attachment.
Types of parents who have difficulty providing sensitive care
De Wolff (1997) defined six fundamental aspects of good care: responsiveness, positivity, synchrony, reciprocity, support, and stimulation. Research on mothers of insecurely attached children (when a child reacts to separation from the mother with indifference or excessive anxiety) has shown that they tend to respond based on their own needs or moods. Depressed parents also fail to build a satisfying and synchronized relationship with their children, often ignoring the children’s social cues. Another group of parents consists of those who themselves grew up as unloved, neglected, or abused children. Although they often begin raising their children with the best of intentions, they expect their children to be perfect and always show love. So when babies are irritable, fussy, or inattentive, emotionally insecure parents will feel as if they are being rejected all over again. Parents whose pregnancies were unplanned and whose children were unwanted may also be insensitive caregivers. Differences are also evident in the quality of the parents’ relationship—the general principle is: “the quality of the partnership reflects the quality of parenting.” Happy couples support each other in caring for their child; they are more patient and optimistic. Conversely, unhappy couples are less sensitive after the child’s birth, have a more negative attitude toward their role as parents, and form less close bonds with their children (Schaffer, 1989). An irresponsible and unpredictable caregiver instills mistrust in the child, which may manifest in the future as an avoidance of relationships based on mutual trust. However, it is possible to break free from the vicious cycle of “I will raise my children the way I was raised” and, through sensitive care, instill in the child a sense that the world is a good place.
Sources:
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De Wolff, M.S., & van IJzendoorn, M.H. (1997). Sensitivity and attachment: A meta-analysis on parental antecedents of infant attachment. Child Development, 66, 571-591.
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Kassin, S. (2009). Psychology. Brno: Computer Press.
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Matějček, Z. (2005). Selected Works. Prague: Karolinum.
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Schaffer, D. R. (1989). Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence (2nd ed.). Pacific Grove, Calif.: Brooks/Cole.
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Schanberg, S.M., & Field, T.M. (1987). Sensory deprivation stress and supplemental stimulation in the rat pup and the preterm human neonate. Child Development, 58, 1431–1447.
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Vymětal, J. (1994). Medical Psychology. Prague: J. Kocourek.
